Why should I do it:
- It is a quick method to de-escalate a student
- It keeps you in a calm state of mind
- A student will take your lead in the way you speak
- Helps keep the student more calm and controlled
- Reduces tension
- Keeps the adult in control and in charge
- Sets a good model and precedent for how behaviors will be perceived and handled
- Prevents students from making a scene and drawing from an audience
- Diminishes the student’s power and control of a situation
- Is perceived by students as a mature and “adult” manner of handling situations
- Indicates to students that everything is okay, under control, and within the adult’s power
- Reduces blow ups, tantrums, and other extreme or fringe behaviors
- Is soothing and calming for everyone
- Causes students to be extra attentive to what you are saying
When should I do it:
- When you are processing a problem with a student
- When a student is reluctant to follow your directives
- When a student is trying to verbally engage you in an argument
- When a student becomes loud, yells, gets angry, becomes physically or verbally aggressive
- When a student is very upset
- When a student is very defiant and oppositional
- When a student is anxious, worried, or nervous
- When a student is scared or afraid
- When giving directions or directives in an emergency situation or other tense setting
- When addressing delicate or sensitive topics with students
- When calming down students who have become aggressive with one another or are in an argument, debate, or disagreement
How do I do it:
- This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk
- Be aware of your own physiological cues to getting angry, annoyed, offended, disrespected and frustrated
- When you have those feelings/thoughts, say to yourself talk yourself out of losing your temper
- Use “I” statements, ie: “I would like for you to make a choice between doing your work at your desk or at another desk” Rather than “you need to make a choice now about where you are going to do your work”
- If possible, remove yourself from a tense situation before talking to the student to calm down
- Always provide consequences to students in the most non-emotional state possible.
- Use a calm and neutral tone of voice
- Use an open and non-threatening body posture
- Make slow and subtle movements
- Get on the level of the student(s)
- Remain calm and maintain a cool and collected composure, even if you don’t feel that way inside
- Use direct eye contact unless it seems to be provoking the student
- Use cues and signs, like nodding your head “yes” and “no”
- If dealing with a student who is emotionally upset, matching your facial expressions to what they are saying can be helpful, for example, when talking with a student who is upset about the death of a loved one, having a solemn look or flashing a frown at appropriate times
Resources & Support for technique: