Why should I do it:

• Interpersonal skills are an important part of students’ development
• Improves self-esteem
• Increases student buy-in
• Creates a more cohesive class and group
• Helps students help one another
• Increases instructional time
• Decreases time spent repeating directions, rehashing lessons, etc
• Improves students’ moods, affect, and emotional stability
• Helps students to interact with adults
• Helps students to elicit help from teachers and others
• Teaches students important life skills for dealing with others
• Reduces conflicts, arguing, and fighting
• Improves the environment of the room/school
• Helps students make and keep friends
• Improves coping skills
• Increases self-confidence

When should I do it:

• All students can benefit from being taught relationship skills
• With students who seem to be “loners”
• With students that are frequently involved or starting or taking part in drama
• With students that say no one likes them or they have no friends
• With students who have trouble asking for help
• When students seem socially awkward
• When students cannot get along with others
• When students instigate, annoy, bug, etc, others
• With students who are immature
• When other students shun, avoid, or ostracize others
• When students bully or are bullied
• When students create or spread rumors
• When students have trouble sharing, compromising, listening to others’ opinions, etc
• When students seem intolerant of others

How do I do it:

• IMPORTANT NOTE!
  • At the Tier 1 Level, think of doing relationship skills lessons and interventions for the whole class or groups
  • At the Tier 2 level, think of doing relationship skills lessons and interventions for groups and individuals
  • At the Tier 3 level, think of customizing specific relationship skills lessons and interventions for specific students
• Use any opportunity to model and role play relationship skills, like when a student name calls and others choose not to play with them, when a student shares, when a student helps another, etc
• Teach lessons on relationships, friendships, getting along with others, tolerance, etc
• Take students aside to discuss and have them reflect on how their behaviors affect others, what behaviors would make others want to be friends with them, etc
• Have students partner up and work on projects together
• Assign work partners
• Help kids set goals with making friends or getting to know others
• Try the supports and resources below

Resources & Support for technique:
(Items with footnotes link to external websites)

• 50 Tips On How To Make Friends ¹
• 6 Friendship Rules To Live By ²
• A Social Skills Lesson: What Is A Friend ³
• Assign a buddy or partner
• Caring Lesson Older Students ⁴
• Caring Lesson Younger Students ⁵
• Draw a picture or write in a journal
• Empathy 101: 1o Commandments Of Human Relationships ⁶
• Encourage interaction with a more self confident student
• Engage student
• Fact Sheet About Dating Violence.pdf ⁷
• Fairness Lesson Younger Students Activity ⁸
• Fairness/Justice Lesson Older Students Activity ⁹
• Friendship Lesson ¹⁰
• Getting Along With Parents Lesson ¹¹
• Honesty Lesson ¹²
• How To Build Friendships With Good Listening Skills ¹³
• How To Make Friends And Get S Social Life ¹⁴
• How To Make Friends At School: Helping Your Pre-teen Overcome Shyness ¹⁵
• How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends ¹⁶
• Integrity Lesson ¹⁷
• Interpersonal Skills ¹⁸
• Kid’s Health: Friendship ¹⁹
• Kid’s Health: Making Friends ²⁰
• Kid’s Health: Peer Group Pressure ²¹
• Kid’s Health: Peer Groups ²²
• Kid’s Health: Prejudice ²³
• Kid’s Health: Problems With The Teacher ²⁴
• Kid’s Health: Teasing Others And How To Stop ²⁵
• Kid’s Health: What Is Diversity? ²⁶
• Model appropriate language
• Natural consequences
• Preventing Conflicts & Violence Lesson ²⁷
• Reassurance
• Reflection sheet
• Respect Lesson Older Students Activity ²⁸
• Respect Lesson Younger Students Activity ²⁹
• Respecting Others Lesson ³⁰
• Social Skills Lesson Plan: Initiating Interaction With Peers ³¹
• Speak with student in hallway
• Speaking Of Sex Lesson ³²
• Talk one on one with student
• Teach conflict resolution skills
• Teach coping skills
• Teach social skills
• Teaching empathy: Evidence-based tips for fostering empathy in children ³³
• Trustworthiness Lesson Older Students Activity ³⁴
• Trustworthiness Lesson Younger Students Activity ³⁵
• Teaching Empathy ³⁶
• Social Skills Stories, Games, Materials, & Resources ³⁷
• PLAY SKILLS-BASED INTERVENTIONS.pdf ³⁸
• Social Skills For Middle School Students ³⁹
• How to Get Children to Overcome Shyness (video) ⁴⁰
• Great Social Skills Training & Tips Geared Toward Adults But Easily Adapted And Applied Toward Children & Adolescents
  • 10 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills ⁴¹
  • Activities People Do When They Hang Around Each Other ⁴²
  • Dealing with anxiety & shyness in social situations and relationships ⁴³
  • At Times It’s Socially Practical To Know Things Other People Care About ⁴⁴
  • Being Honest With Yourself About Your Social Problems ⁴⁵
  • Being Too Negative Can Hinder Your Social Success ⁴⁶
  • Generally Improving Your Social Skills ⁴⁷
  • Coping With Nervousness ⁴⁸
  • Dealing With Regrets Caused By Your Poor People Skills ⁴⁹
  • Thoughts On How To Make Conversation ⁵⁰
  • Getting Along With New Groups ⁵¹
  • How Being Less Naturally Social Can Affect Your Interpersonal Success ⁵²
  • How To Be More Friendly And Social ⁵³
  • How To Be More Fun ⁵⁴
  • How To Meet People ⁵⁵
  • How To Talk To Shyer and/or Less Social People ⁵⁶
  • How Your Interests Can Affect Your Social Success ⁵⁷
  • Common Worries Shy Or Insecure People Have ⁵⁸
  • Is Bitterness Holding You Back Socially? ⁵⁹
  • Is It Okay To Hang Out With Another Guy One On One? ⁶⁰
  • Is Thinking You’re Better Than Other People Holding You Back Socially? ⁶¹
  • Learning To Make More Eye Contact With People ⁶²
  • Little Social Annoyances That Will Never Go Away ⁶³
  • Loosen Up To Be More Socially Successful ⁶⁴
  • Making Plans With People ⁶⁵
  • Mistakes Lonely People Often Make ⁶⁶
  • My Experience With Becoming More Self-Confident ⁶⁷
  • Other People Often Aren’t As Shallow As They Seem ⁶⁸
  • It’s Very Tricky To Know What You Want Socially ⁶⁹
  • Reflections on Being Defensive and Secretive ⁷⁰
  • Reflections On Getting Over Low Self-Esteem ⁷¹
  • Some Interpersonal Pitfalls More Intellectual Types Can Fall Into ⁷²
  • Some Thoughts On The Point Of Small Talk ⁷³
  • Some Tips On How To Be Less Quiet In Conversations ⁷⁴
  • Some Ways People Are Mentally Lazy About Judging Others ⁷⁵
  • The Importance of Getting Your Appearance In Order ⁷⁶
  • The Importance Of Simplicity And The Basics In Social Interactions… ⁷⁷
  • Meeting People & Making Friends ⁷⁸
  • Thoughts On How To Be Funny ⁷⁹
  • Thoughts On How to Be More Interesting ⁸⁰
  • Thoughts On How To Make A Conversation ⁸¹
  • Thoughts on Seeming Less Weird ⁸²
  • How To Mingle And Talk To People At Parties ⁸³
  • Ways People Can Unintentionally Leave Friends Out Of Social Events ⁸⁴
  • When People Say “How’s It Going?”, “What’s Up?” or “What’s New?” ⁸⁵
  • When You Feel Like Your Friends Suck ⁸⁶
  • Why You Need To Directly Practice Your Social Skills And How To Do It ⁸⁷
  • When Your Friends Tease You A Lot ⁸⁸

Footnotes:

1. Health and Life. 50 Tips on How to Make Friends. [http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/07/24-ways-to-make-friends-improve-relationships/].
2. Stevenson, J. Six Friendship Rules to Live By
   Friendship advice and tips for teens. [http://teenadvice.about.com/od/friends/tp/friendship_rules.htm].
3. Webster, J. A Social Skills Lesson – What is a Friend Launching a Unit on Friendship with Students with Social Deficits. [http://specialed.about.com/od/characterbuilding/a/Whatfriend.htm].
4. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: CARING / COMPASSION for grades 7-12. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/ISOC/Caring.html].
5. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: CARING for grades 4-8. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/chron/caring.html].
6. Salls, K. Empathy 101: Ten Commandments Of Human Relationships. [http://www.earthlingcommunication.com/a/interpersonal-skills/tips-starting-new-maintaining-relationships.php].
7. The Dibble Institute. Facts About Dating Violence. [www.dibbleinstitute.org/Documents/Dating_Violence_Flier-2-1.pdf].
8. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: FAIRNESS / JUSTICE for grades 4-8. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/chron/fairness.html].
9. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: FAIRNESS / JUSTICE for grades 7-12. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/ISOC/Fairness.html].
10. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: Friendship for grades 5-9. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/Friendship.html].
11. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: Getting Along with Parents for grades 5-9. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/Parents.html].
12. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: HONESTY for grades 7-12. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/ISOC/Honesty.html].
13. Scott, E. (2008). Build Friendships With Good Listening Skills. [http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtolisten.htm].
14. Succeed Socially. How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife].
15. Oliveri, D. (2007). How to Make Friends at School: Helping Your Pre-teen Overcome Shyness. [http://deniseoliveri.suite101.com/how-to-make-friends-at-school-a19774].
16. Wiki How. How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends. [http://www.wikihow.com/Socialize,-Be-Funny-and-Make-Friends].
17. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: INTEGRITY for grades 7-12. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/ISOC/Integrity.html].
18. North Carolina State University Counseling Center. Interpersonal Skills. [http://healthcenter.ncsu.edu/counseling-center/resources/mental-health-and-wellness-topics/interpersonal-skills/].
19. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Friendship. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=1636&np=286].
20. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Making Friends. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=1705&np=286].
21. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Peer group pressure. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=1822&np=286].
22. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Peer Groups. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=1825&np=286].
23. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Prejudice – not giving a ‘fair go’. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=2348&np=286].
24. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Problems with the teacher. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=1586&np=286].
25. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. Teasing others and how to stop. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=1625&np=286].
26. Women’s and Children’s Health Network, Child and Youth Health. What is diversity. [http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&id=2345&np=286].
27. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: Preventing Conflicts & Violence for grades 5-9. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/PreventingConflicts.html].
28. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: RESPECT for grades 7-12. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/ISOC/Respect.html].
29. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: RESPECT for grades 4-8. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/chron/respect.html].
30. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: Respecting Others for grades 5-9. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/RespectingOthers.html].
31. Webster, J. Social Skills Lesson Plan — Initiating Interaction With Peers: Brainstorming, Scripting and Rehearsal for Social Success. [http://specialed.about.com/od/characterbuilding/a/socialskillsinitiate.htm].
32. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: Speaking of Sex for grades 5-9. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/SpeakingSex.html].
33. Dewar, G. (2009). Teaching empathy: Evidence-based tips for fostering empathy in children. [http://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-empathy-tips.html].
34. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: TRUSTWORTHINESS (including HONESTY) for grades 7-12. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/ISOC/Trustworthiness.html].
35. Elkind+Sweet Communications, Inc. Teaching Guide: TRUSTWORTHINESS for grades 4-8. [http://www.goodcharacter.com/chron/trust.html].
36. The Empathy Symbol: a symbol for today. Teaching Empathy. [http://www.empathysymbol.com/EmpathyInTheSchools.htm].
37. Autism 4 Teachers. Social Skills. [http://www.autism4teachers.com/autism4teachers_008.htm].
38. Texas Statewide Leadership for Autism. (2010). PLAY SKILLS-BASED INTERVENTIONS. [www.txautism.net/docs/Guide/Interventions/PlaySkillsBased.pdf].
39. Contra Costa County Office of Education. Social Skills for Middle School Students. [http://www.cccoe.net/social/skillslist.htm].
40. Hyde, R. How to Get Children to Overcome Shyness. [http://www.ehow.com/video_4440800_children-overcome-shyness.html].
41. All Business. Ten Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills. [http://www.allbusiness.com/improve-interpersonal-skills/15606969-1.html
    ].
42. Succeed Socially. Things To Do With Other People. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/activities].
43. Succeed Socially. Search: Dealing with anxiety & shyness in social situations and relationships. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/.search?results_page=searchresults.html&query=anxious+anxiety&name=Search].
44. Succeed Socially. At Times It’s Socially Practical To Know Things Other People Care About. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/practicalskills].
45. Succeed Socially. Some Ways People Can Excuse Their Legitimate Social Weaknesses. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/honest].
46. Succeed Socially. Is Thinking You’re Better Than Other People Holding You Back Socially?. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/negativetoothers].
47. Succeed Socially. Generally Improving Your Social Skills. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/index#socialskills].
48. Succeed Socially. Search: Coping With Nervousness. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/.search?results_page=searchresults.html&query=Nervousness&name=Search].
49. Succeed Socially. Dealing With Regrets Caused By Your Poor People Skills. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/regrets].
50. Succeed Socially. Thoughts On How To Make Conversation. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/conversation].
51. Succeed Socially. Hanging Out With New People Who All Know Each Other. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/groups].
52. Succeed Socially. How Being Less Naturally Social Can Affect Your Interpersonal Success. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/lesssocial].
53. Succeed Socially. How To Be More Friendly And Social. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/friendly].
54. Succeed Socially. How To Be More Fun. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/morefun].
55. Succeed Socially. How To Meet People. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/meetpeople].
56. Succeed Socially. How To Talk To Shyer and/or Less Social People. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/shytalk].
57. Succeed Socially. How Your Interests Can Affect Your Social Success. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/interests].
58. Succeed Socially. Common Worries Shy Or Insecure People Have. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/shyworries].
59. Succeed Socially. Is Bitterness Holding You Back Socially?. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/bitterness].
60. Succeed Socially. Is It Okay To Hang Out With Another Guy One On One?. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/oneononewithguys].
61. Succeed Socially. Is Thinking You’re Better Than Other People Holding You Back Socially?. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/negativetoothers].
62. Succeed Socially. Learning To Make More Eye Contact With People. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/eyecontact].
63. Succeed Socially. Little Social Annoyances That Will Never Go Away. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/annoyances].
64. Succeed Socially. Loosen Up To Be More Socially Successful. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/loosenup].
65. Succeed Socially. Making Plans With People. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/plans].
66. Succeed Socially. Mistakes Lonely People Often Make. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/lonely].
67. Succeed Socially. My Experience With Becoming More Self-Confident. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/confidence].
68. Succeed Socially. Other People Often Aren’t As Shallow As They Seem. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/relate].
69. Succeed Socially. It’s Very Tricky To Know What You Want Socially. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/knowwhatyouwant].
70. Succeed Socially. Reflections on Being Defensive and Secretive. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/defensive].
71. Succeed Socially. Reflections On Getting Over Low Self-Esteem. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/selfesteem].
72. Succeed Socially. Some Interpersonal Pitfalls More Intellectual Types Can Fall Into. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/intellectual].
73. Succeed Socially. Some Thoughts On The Point Of Small Talk. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/smalltalk].
74. Succeed Socially. Some Tips On How To Be Less Quiet In Conversations. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/quiet].
75. Succeed Socially. Some Ways People Are Mentally Lazy About Judging Others. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/judge].
76. Succeed Socially. The Importance of Getting Your Appearance In Order. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/lookbetter].
77. Succeed Socially. The Importance Of Simplicity And The Basics In Social Interactions…. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/simplicity].
78. Succeed Socially. Meeting People & Making Friends. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/index#makingfriends].
79. Succeed Socially. Thoughts On How To Be Funny. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/funny].
80. Succeed Socially. Thoughts On How to Be More Interesting. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/interesting].
81. Succeed Socially. Thoughts On How To Make A Conversation. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/conversation].
82. Succeed Socially. Thoughts on Seeming Less Weird. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/weird].
83. Succeed Socially. How To Mingle And Talk To People At Parties. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/howtomingleatparties].
84. Succeed Socially. Ways People Can Unintentionally Leave Friends Out Of Social Events. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/unintentionalleftout].
85. Succeed Socially. When People Say “How’s It Going?”, “What’s Up?” or “What’s New?”. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/howareyou].
86. Succeed Socially. When You Feel Like Your Friends Suck. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/suckyfriends].
87. Succeed Socially. Why You Need To Directly Practice Your Social Skills And How To Do It. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/socialskills].
88. Succeed Socially. When Your Friends Tease You A Lot. [http://www.succeedsocially.com/tease].